Non-Introspective Working Mom Takes Shot at Fatherhood.

Rebel Dad is fired up about a recent interview with Leslie Morgan Steiner (an advertising executive at the Washington Post, mother of three, and author of Mommy Wars: Stay-at-Home and Career-Moms Face Off.) In the interview at BusinessWeek Online’s Working Parents blog, Steiner takes an unwelcomed shot at dads at the end of the interview with this:

Do you expect to see a book on Daddy wars?
It would be a very short book. Men aren’t that introspective. When kids come, their lives haven’t changed as much dramatically. When husband goes on a business trip to New York, he just packs his little suitcase. When I go away, I have to write a three-page memo for the nanny. I have to talk to three moms to arrange for people to pick up my kids from school. I have to send a note to school to tell them to call my husband in case of an emergency. And then I have to tell my husband to keep his cell phone on.

Why do I find her comments so offensive? For one, I’m not much for sweeping statements that promote inaccurate stereotypes. Comments like that show how non-introspective Steiner is herself. Aside from the "introspective" comment, EVERY dad I have talked to, talks about how dramatically their lives have changed post-baby. I consider myself an introspective and involved dad—but perhaps I’m a freak of nature. Does she have a point about men in general? Perhaps her statement refers to an older generation's parenting style. Perhaps, but times are a changing. Men measure themselves much differently now a days. What is the measure of a man? In my circle of friends, being a father is not about being the disconnected “provider”. It is about being a dad this is changing diapers, giving baths, washing dishes, etc.--in short, being a CONNECTED PARTNER in the raising of the children… this is the new measure of a man.

Comments

[Tracy E.]

Wow. All I can say is, wow.

Talk about amazing generalizations. I just got back today from a 2 1/2 day trip. I packed my bags - I left. I don't remember any memos I wrote or any babysitting I arranged. I just left. And Bill did everything just fine without me. Better, actually, than I would have done if he left for 2 days...