Crooked Line

Waking the Blog...

I’m waking the blog. We are officially settled into the new place and I need to get back into a rhythm of posting. The summer has been very busy and fun (as evidenced by the photo).

RAT UPDATE: In the memory of Fluffy the hamster we now have two pet rats. They are cute (for rats). Their names are Sheldon and Fred (funny names for female rats). More on the rats later.

Fluffy Died.

Our seven-year-old’s first pet died. Fluffy was a good hamster. He didn’t bite (much). He loved his little wheel. His nose was twitchy and cute. He was low maintenance and that was good. It is sad to see his cage empty and his wheel silent, but he gave us nine good months (in reality Fluffy was a female but our son was convinced otherwise—we didn’t try to change his mind).

We buried Fluffy under a Manzanita tree behind our house. The service was brief but poignant. Our son spoke. He expressed how lucky we all were to have known Fluffy. He said a prayer. A large rock marks Fluffy’s resting place. We will all miss Fluffy (well, maybe not my wife, she was kind of scared of her, er “him”).

My son now wants a rat. My wife isn’t so sure about the whole “tail” thing. We are in negotiations at the moment.

Everything is put away (mostly).

Okay, okay, I really need to post something. Moving disrupted everything. We were without internet for about a month (things move slower up here in the mountains), new school, new schedule, etc., etc.--you know the drill. Anyway, things have finally settled down. After six weeks in the new place, I finally have all my clothes either in a drawer or hanging up (no more picking the cleanest looking thing on the pile).

We are very happy to be back in the mountains. I plan to blog about being a mountain-at-home dad.

Stuff.

We move this Saturday. After nine years of marriage and three kids, we have stuff...more than we would like. We gave away lots of stuff yesterday, but we still have too much stuff. This weekend we will put all of our stuff in a U-Haul and move it. I can hardly wait to get this over with. Till then.

Update...

A quick update on packing and moving...

...it still sucks.

Moving.

We are moving back to the mountains. We were in the Sierra Nevada for ten plus years before we moved to Pasadena (for a year) and then Fresno (about a year and a half). We have desperately missed it up there. We are now moving back in about three weeks. We are excited and nervous. I probably won’t be blogging much as we get the house ready for the move.

BTW--packing and moving sucks.

The Funny Things We Say...

In high school I made the pronouncement that men should not stay home with the kids. I thought in very traditional terms. Man, work. Woman, stay home. It was pretty much that simple to me then. I remember the looks on the faces of the girls as I shared my beliefs at the end of English class. I wish they could see me now. Well, that was twenty years ago and its funny how things change. Now I’m home with the kids and my thinking is much less black and white. I still think men should work, they can just do it at home with the kiddos.

A Confession of a Stay-at-Home Dad... "I can't cook".

Switching roles has certainly had its difficulties when it comes to household duties. When I was working outside the home, I helped around the house. I helped with the laundry, cleaning, dishes, the kids, ect. The key word here is “helped”--my wife was doing the lion's share of the household duties. Now that our roles are reversed, the hardest part for me is the cooking. I suck at it—always have. I’m sure I could do it well if I applied myself, but I’m an instant gratification kind of guy when it comes to food. I made it through college without making mac and cheese. Why bother with a stove when cold cereal was available? That was bachelorhood--families are quite different. With the kids, I take care of breakfast and lunch. I’m embarrassed to say that my wife is still doing the bulk of the dinner cooking. I'm hoping to change that. My only consolation is I’m pretty good at breakfast--except for my first attempt at waffles (as evidenced by the photo). I’ll stick with pancakes and french toast.

Non-Introspective Working Mom Takes Shot at Fatherhood.

Rebel Dad is fired up about a recent interview with Leslie Morgan Steiner (an advertising executive at the Washington Post, mother of three, and author of Mommy Wars: Stay-at-Home and Career-Moms Face Off.) In the interview at BusinessWeek Online’s Working Parents blog, Steiner takes an unwelcomed shot at dads at the end of the interview with this:

Do you expect to see a book on Daddy wars?
It would be a very short book. Men aren’t that introspective. When kids come, their lives haven’t changed as much dramatically. When husband goes on a business trip to New York, he just packs his little suitcase. When I go away, I have to write a three-page memo for the nanny. I have to talk to three moms to arrange for people to pick up my kids from school. I have to send a note to school to tell them to call my husband in case of an emergency. And then I have to tell my husband to keep his cell phone on.

Why do I find her comments so offensive? For one, I’m not much for sweeping statements that promote inaccurate stereotypes. Comments like that show how non-introspective Steiner is herself. Aside from the "introspective" comment, EVERY dad I have talked to, talks about how dramatically their lives have changed post-baby. I consider myself an introspective and involved dad—but perhaps I’m a freak of nature. Does she have a point about men in general? Perhaps her statement refers to an older generation's parenting style. Perhaps, but times are a changing. Men measure themselves much differently now a days. What is the measure of a man? In my circle of friends, being a father is not about being the disconnected “provider”. It is about being a dad this is changing diapers, giving baths, washing dishes, etc.--in short, being a CONNECTED PARTNER in the raising of the children… this is the new measure of a man.

Soap Operas for Men.

When I first became a stay-at-home dad a few people joked that I could now catch-up on my soaps. Very funny I thought. I don’t have anything against soap operas and I’m sure many men watch them, but on a whole I’m sure the target audience is female. Then I realized I have an afternoon escape I consider “my show”. I just happens to be on ESPN. Everyday at 2:30 PM I tune in to “Pardon the Interruption” and watch two sports writers banter back and forth about current sporting event. I love it. After several months of watching, it struck me--ESPN is my soap opera. Why do I like to watch people TALK about sports (I’m not even watching people PLAY sports)? I think it boils down to relationships. I like to hear about what makes people do what they do—they just happen to be athletes in this case. And at times, it has all the elements of a soap opera--sex (Minnesota Vikings infamous boat trip), drama (the Steelers season), feuds (Kobe and Shaq), tension (T.O. and the Eagles), etc. I watch because I get connected to the STORIES about PEOPLE (not just the acts they perform on a field or a court). It is the stories that drive my interest—I’m sure much the same reason women watch their soaps. So there you go, a soap opera for men (I’m sure many women enjoy the show too).